When I think about all that we have been through. I still don't get how we got here. Barley able to talk with out fighting. Me and you were soo close I told you everything and I knew that you were the one that I wanted to be with. I'm confuse, do I want this relationship to work?we fight all the time and I can't take this anymore. I use this as my motivation and keep my head in the book and out the clouds. Growth is something I am promoting

The Mask I wear

There is a pain in my chest, I can't help  from sweating feet passing back and forth. I have always pride myself from not taken shit from anyone. But yet here i am, taken ever punch that you throw at me. I have been beating emotionally and mentally, I always knew that I had emotional issue.Exposing myself to a person the good and the bad. know  I am left feeling  out of control while trying to maintain everything. Maybe that's why I had thoughts of ending it all, My cover was expose and I felt bare, open, naked. I am scared shit less,my anxiety is at a all time high. I not sure what gonna happen and that scares me I can only hope and pry that I make the right choices. I act as if that I have time to play around and party and drink heavily, Paul Laurence poem "We wear the mask." is a poem that describes my inner personality.

We Wear the Mask

We wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,--
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
And mouth with myriad subtleties.

Why should the world be overwise,
In counting all our tears and sighs?
Nay, let them only see us, while
We wear the mask.

We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries
To thee from tortured souls arise.
We sing, but oh the clay is vile
Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
But let the world dream otherwise,
We wear the mask! 

Paul Laurence Dunbar